My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
