Its about making memories worth repressing
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
