for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
