I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I have demons in me.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Dignity is for republicans.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
