im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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