It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
