Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
