the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize
