just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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