Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
she pinky promised me she was 18
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
