you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
