I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
