His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
