His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
