I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
