I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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