I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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