Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
