guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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