you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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