Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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