ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize