That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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