Im at strip club and am horny
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
