i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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