Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Farmville is her only friend.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
