Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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