Yo dont text me then not text me
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
