Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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