she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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