I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
How does one acquire holy water?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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