Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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