i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
