You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
