everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
