just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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