Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
