That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
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