I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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