He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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