I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
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