I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
