omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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