What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Small penises have feelings too.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
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