margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
