That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
