while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
