I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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