ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
