how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
