Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
