is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
