it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
