Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I love having hate sex.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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