but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
this just has baby written all over it
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
