Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
