:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
