i don't like sucking hair
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
