VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
