I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
high people should be assigned attendants
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
My feet surprised me
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