So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
