You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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