this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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