can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
