does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
